My Place or Yours?

By Bernd Vogel

Friends Hanging Out

One of the best things in life is hanging out at home with friends, wasting time, contemplating the future, reflecting on how much time you're wasting, and more wasting time.

It's just not as easy to do that with Maranao parents. Unless:

a) your circle of heterogeneous friends consists mainly of close relatives: cousins, uncles/aunts-of-the-same-age, et al.

b) you don't live with your Maranao parents and they don't know what's going on (and assuming of course that your nosy neighbor isn't a snitch).

c) you have an all-girl or all-boy circle of friends.

d) your parents are one of those "hippy, open-minded, 70s" lot.

Otherwise, you don't hang out at home. You meet your friends out and go elsewhere to waste time. 

**

In my parents' home, however, they are okay with my guy friends hanging out as long as:

a) they are married and they come over with their wives.

b) they are engaged to be married and they come over with their fiancees.

c) they are fake-engaged and their fake-fiancees are not able to make it.

d) my parents know their parents.

e) I know them through some academic context.

f) they can take my father's history trivia, and answer his trick questions.

They're pretty cool, my old folks.

What are your (or your parents') house rules on this?

Intoxicate.

Pasisigupan. (Smoker)

photo by Aetas-Art

There aren't that many female Maranao smokers.

Apparently, there are only two kinds:

1. Those women who are considered "worldly", exposed to outside culture. Probably students, or career women, or the ones who "don't care" what other (Maranaos) say about them. There are many words I've heard used to describe these women, including "(over) educated" and "jaded".

2. Older women. They are usually chain smokers, too. One cigarette right after the other. They are candid, with lots of stories of the old, glorious days. I love talking to them. They seem more open-minded.

Smoking is taboo in Maranao culture not so much because of health reasons, but because of what society might say about these women. An unmarried smoker might be considered a little too wild, with some degree of "experience". Not good.

But it's also not such a big problem in our society. Most women who smoke quit once they are married, or when they have kids.

Is it something worthy of address?

Are YOU a smoker?