Filipino or Not?

Before you do, check if you've got the right one!

We've all read the You-Know-You're-A-Filipino-If List.

Let's see which points don't apply to Maranaos.

WHY WE'RE "NOT" FILIPINOS:

* You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly. Actually, I think Maranaos flirt by making indirect remarks/comments/compliments ("parinig") by referring to people in the second or third person, whether or not they are speaking directly.

* You like bowling. Generally, no. We're not that much into sports, are we? It's too improper. Of course, I'm generalizing now. It isn't to say that Maranaos don't play or enjoy sports. It's just not a big part of our culture. At least not the mainstream sports. In fact, we get defensive and say "Well, we are modern Maranaos and we DO play sports." Why do we have to say modern in the same sentence?

* You know how to play pusoy and mah-jong. The only card game I know that Maranaos play is "Tram", which is actually a form of Trump.

* You add an unwarranted H to your name, i.e. JHun, BHoy, RHon. Most Maranao names are Maranao words or Arabic names. I was asked once though by a non-Maranao why most Maranao names end in H. Faridah. Sobaidah. These are usually Arabic.

* You say "kodakan" instead of "take pictures". We don't.

* You say "array" instead of "ouch". We say "aydaw!" Haha.

* You have a portrait of The Last Supper in your dining room and you have a shrine of the Sto Nino in your living room. Nope. Maranaos are Muslim.

* You own a piano that no one ever plays. Not into pianos.

* You have aunts and uncles named Baby, Girlie and Boy. Not really, no. Actually, Ate Baby IS pretty common, but we say Ate Bibi. Even more common is Ate Bibi Dull (Baby Doll). I love that. :)

These are just some of the ones I've been asked about a lot. What else is there?

***

WHY WE ARE FILIPINOS:

* You eat rice for breakfast. Bgas!

* You leave slippers and shoes at the doorstep. Strictly no shoes in the house!

* You have a "tabo" in the bathroom. (Plastic dipper for water)

* You use a "walis ting-ting" or "walis tambo" as opposed to the convential broom to sweep floors.

* You say "Hoy" to get someone's attention. Albeit in a heavier, guttural accent.

* You point with your lips.

* You have to kiss all your relatives on the cheek when you enter a room.

* You put your hands in front of you as if to make a path and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of a TV.

Haha. I love it all.

What makes you distinctly Maranao?

I.D.

It is becoming increasingly easier for me to write in bullet points.

Let's I.D. the Maranao, shall we?

I have a lot of friends from different countries, all of whom have never even heard of the Maranao. They know I'm from the Philippines, therefore I'm Filipino, therefore I speak Tagalog and some form of funny-ish English, therefore I'm from Manila, therefore I eat dog meat for fun.

Oi vei.

I'm going to ignore the fact that those are painfully cliche stereotypes (fine, there's some truth in them, but still).

Maranaos are from Lanao, which can be found in Mindanao, the Southern part of the Philippines. Their culture is more Malay-influenced than Hispanic.

For more boring-type history, geography and whatever else information that needs to be authentic, click here.

Instead of telling you what a Maranao is, let's start with what a Maranao is NOT.

1. We're not big on karaoke. We don't have the latest karaoke technology surround-sound froucaca in our living rooms. Frank Sinatra's "My Way" is in fact, NOT our national anthem.

Karaoke?! WTF is that?

Ok, fine, maybe I have a karaoke machine in my room that has at least 7,000 songs, and I can sing My Way 10 different ways including the P. Diddy remix. But that's beside the point.

Here in Jeddah, it's a given. "You're Filipino? KARAOKE!!" (I think this happens everywhere, except Manila.)

Yeah, no. It's the other Filipinos that are into that.

**

2. We don't really have that P / F problem. We don't say Farty when we mean Party. We have our letter P down. It's probably because F is really not part of our alphabet/language.

Yeah! *fist bump*

**

3. Our culture is a lot like the Saudi one. If it's taboo for the Saudis, it's taboo for the Maranaos.

**

4. Yeah, we DON'T eat dog meat. Or snake. Or animal intestines. Those are popular pulutan dishes, to be consumed with alcohol. We don't drink zee Alcohol. Cough.

**

... to be continued.

In the meantime, maybe the Maranao readers have something to add.